Went to visit my grandmother in Pennsylvania who recently turned 100 via a roundtrip Amtrak trainride. There were delays at first, and a frantic peddle to the metal bus ride to catch a connection we'd missed by 8 hours, a crazy man who they didn't do anything about who wandered the train well dressed but shoeless and missing a toe making no sense and touching people inappropriately, and poorly planned out smoking stops that were shortened or cancelled due to delays. But all in all, most Amtrak on board and station employees were friendly, efficient, and helpful. They let me practice my sax twice a day in the bar car to the compliments of many other passengers and I found many interesting conversations and made new friends. The food wasn't as expensive as I'd thought in the Dining Car and the conductor who put off dealing with the toeless lunatic was even amusing as when we'd tell her, she'd come back at us with "You think that's crazy? We had a guy on here once who....." and then proceed to tell us horrific tales of lunatics on the train "....and started into swinging that sledge hammer and....", "....And there was urine all over everybody! And it was that real rancid urine too....", "And that's the tale of 'the Zephyr Succubus, or the walking dead woman of track 29", "....but it turns out the guy who'd escaped from the mental institution was on Amtrak the whole 3 weeks he was missing and didn't even have a ticket!" till finally she had a run in herself with old 9 toes and there was a two hour wait while the 911 squad came, talked him down, and hauled him away. Then there was another hour to wait as the weenie English teacher guy who was correcting everybody's grammar had a Sensitivity Melt-down over Crazy 9 toes getting hauled away. "WWwwhhhyyy?! (Suh-ahb sob sob sobbity sob sob) Wwhhyyy is the world oh so very Cuh-rue-el?! (s-s-s-s-o-o-o-b-B)" And the two Amish couples who got all hot on each other after examining a cell phone close up. It was all very adventurous.
The return trip to San Francisco was going well....uneventful, relaxing, beautiful scenery....until the conductors changed at the end of Colorado. I'd noted two undercover cops during our Denver stop and chatted it up with them with small talk trying to feel them out and immediatly after they shook me off, they rigorously searched a Latino family who I surmised later thought I'd somehow prompted the search as I'd been seen talking with these offensive cops. I was already asleep for the night (I thought) when I woke to this Kris May new conductor shoving me into wakefulness with two of the Latino kids pointing at me. She demanded I follow her to the downstairs isolation compartment where this obsessive sneezer guy fidgeted and paced and played a banjo he admitted to having no idea how to tune or play and made me bring my bags. Why? Complaints of body odor that only she, the Hispanic family who thought I'd narced them out, and this couple who'd been annoyed at my negative assessment of their plan to sue Amtrak could smell.
From a sound sleep to having to explain I'm an AIDS patient but with no current opportunistic infections to cause any odor, that I'd been on the train for 3 days but had changed my underwear and socks each day, alternated 2 pairs of clean pants and two clean shirts, AND washed up each a.m. and p.m. in the tiny "cheap seats" train bathrooms so it was unlikely that I stank as accused. She noted 6 complaints (all from folks who'd thought they had a gripe against me) and got real confrontational when I ventured out of my cell for a beer a little later as evidentily I had lost my aisle and club car privledges too. She made me wait in the sightseeing car while downstairs she loudly argued insistence that her coworkers team with her against me but the bartender vouched for me against her claims I must be drunk when actually had celebrated my adventure with a Bloody Mary at breakfast time and one beer with my dinner. The new conservative male conductor who refused to give his name (Kris May only gave hers after I insisted 3 times) at least didn't think I was as bad as Ms May claimed and couldn't give a definitive answer when I asked him if I smelled bad. I had to go by my old seat each time I left and returned to my hell hole with the sneezy banjo guy which I only got to do twice.
:angry: Each time I got to my old seat at the top of the stairs the guy who had been trying to fabricate a lawsuit against Amtrak earlier would rip into me! Finally he threatened to throw me down the stairs if I passed through again and I then went running for the conductor with him chasing behind me! He beat me to the male conductor claiming I was back there harassing the people who'd made the bogus complaints about me and the conductor made a snap judgement to put me off the train and didn't care about the guy threatening me or the fact that none of the other passengers thought I was a problem. At that we were pulling into Provo, Utah and they had the cops screeching up and the boarded to the histrionic rantings of Conductor May demanding I be removed! I cooperated and humiliated I was searched and asked leading questions but they found no reason to arrest me but made a stink when I told them I had AIDS because I should have informed them immediatly they said as I questioned why revealing this to them 10 seconds after meeting them wasn't immediate enough. They warmed up as they realized that for whatever reason; my long hair and beard? Stage name of Lucifer? My openness about my homosexuality? My frank disclosures of my AIDS status?, I had gotten a bum rap. They called me a cab and left and although the cabbie tried to keep me from riding with him by denying the $48 quote to the Salt Lake City Airport he'd given the Provo cops for me asking first if I had $65, acting annoyed that I did but steadily rose the fare (no meter) till when it hit $110 and I saw a long term parking area I bellowed "STOP THIS CAR!" threw a crumpled fifty at him and scurried like "The Fugitive" with my saxophone and two heavy packs up the steep highway embankment, sliding frantically in the landscaping cedar chips to the airport's employee lot. I begged my way onto an employee shuttle, had San Francisco friends get me a flight in a Winnebego with wings then an upgrade in Reno to a Bluebird School bus with wings, and despite the $333 airfare that I cannot afford, was grateful to get home this past Friday 4/13/07 where even after all this and a sleepless night in the airport, and running from rip off in a heavy coat dragging major poundage of belongings, I still didn't smell bad swear the friends who picked me up.
<_< I figure Amtrak AT LEAST owes me an apology for forever scarring what will probably be my last ever visit with Gramom, $333 for airfare, and $50 for the cab. What an absolute nightmare.
The return trip to San Francisco was going well....uneventful, relaxing, beautiful scenery....until the conductors changed at the end of Colorado. I'd noted two undercover cops during our Denver stop and chatted it up with them with small talk trying to feel them out and immediatly after they shook me off, they rigorously searched a Latino family who I surmised later thought I'd somehow prompted the search as I'd been seen talking with these offensive cops. I was already asleep for the night (I thought) when I woke to this Kris May new conductor shoving me into wakefulness with two of the Latino kids pointing at me. She demanded I follow her to the downstairs isolation compartment where this obsessive sneezer guy fidgeted and paced and played a banjo he admitted to having no idea how to tune or play and made me bring my bags. Why? Complaints of body odor that only she, the Hispanic family who thought I'd narced them out, and this couple who'd been annoyed at my negative assessment of their plan to sue Amtrak could smell.
From a sound sleep to having to explain I'm an AIDS patient but with no current opportunistic infections to cause any odor, that I'd been on the train for 3 days but had changed my underwear and socks each day, alternated 2 pairs of clean pants and two clean shirts, AND washed up each a.m. and p.m. in the tiny "cheap seats" train bathrooms so it was unlikely that I stank as accused. She noted 6 complaints (all from folks who'd thought they had a gripe against me) and got real confrontational when I ventured out of my cell for a beer a little later as evidentily I had lost my aisle and club car privledges too. She made me wait in the sightseeing car while downstairs she loudly argued insistence that her coworkers team with her against me but the bartender vouched for me against her claims I must be drunk when actually had celebrated my adventure with a Bloody Mary at breakfast time and one beer with my dinner. The new conservative male conductor who refused to give his name (Kris May only gave hers after I insisted 3 times) at least didn't think I was as bad as Ms May claimed and couldn't give a definitive answer when I asked him if I smelled bad. I had to go by my old seat each time I left and returned to my hell hole with the sneezy banjo guy which I only got to do twice.
:angry: Each time I got to my old seat at the top of the stairs the guy who had been trying to fabricate a lawsuit against Amtrak earlier would rip into me! Finally he threatened to throw me down the stairs if I passed through again and I then went running for the conductor with him chasing behind me! He beat me to the male conductor claiming I was back there harassing the people who'd made the bogus complaints about me and the conductor made a snap judgement to put me off the train and didn't care about the guy threatening me or the fact that none of the other passengers thought I was a problem. At that we were pulling into Provo, Utah and they had the cops screeching up and the boarded to the histrionic rantings of Conductor May demanding I be removed! I cooperated and humiliated I was searched and asked leading questions but they found no reason to arrest me but made a stink when I told them I had AIDS because I should have informed them immediatly they said as I questioned why revealing this to them 10 seconds after meeting them wasn't immediate enough. They warmed up as they realized that for whatever reason; my long hair and beard? Stage name of Lucifer? My openness about my homosexuality? My frank disclosures of my AIDS status?, I had gotten a bum rap. They called me a cab and left and although the cabbie tried to keep me from riding with him by denying the $48 quote to the Salt Lake City Airport he'd given the Provo cops for me asking first if I had $65, acting annoyed that I did but steadily rose the fare (no meter) till when it hit $110 and I saw a long term parking area I bellowed "STOP THIS CAR!" threw a crumpled fifty at him and scurried like "The Fugitive" with my saxophone and two heavy packs up the steep highway embankment, sliding frantically in the landscaping cedar chips to the airport's employee lot. I begged my way onto an employee shuttle, had San Francisco friends get me a flight in a Winnebego with wings then an upgrade in Reno to a Bluebird School bus with wings, and despite the $333 airfare that I cannot afford, was grateful to get home this past Friday 4/13/07 where even after all this and a sleepless night in the airport, and running from rip off in a heavy coat dragging major poundage of belongings, I still didn't smell bad swear the friends who picked me up.
<_< I figure Amtrak AT LEAST owes me an apology for forever scarring what will probably be my last ever visit with Gramom, $333 for airfare, and $50 for the cab. What an absolute nightmare.