There was apparently no damage other than possibly a paint scratch to the locomotive in our incident, although the car had been t-boned. We had to walk right past the locomotive when we got to the Atlanta station. From my limited experience, I'd say the "car hitting a soda can" analogy is pretty much accurate. Please be careful at grade crossings, folks.
Interestingly, the conductor or car attendant (don't recall which) instantly knew what had happened. He had experienced it before. We were in coach on that trip, and only heard a distant, faint pop sound, saw white smoke (steam from the radiator, we were told), and of course there was hard braking but not enough to cause falls. We didn't even feel the impact. Now I always slow down and look even at lighted, gated grade crossings.
Yes, I always feel bad for the crew, too. If I still think of her, I'm sure the engineer does so as well.